Is Your Mate Cheating?

You've been together several months, but somethingreactions from the infidelity onto you simply because
doesn't feel quite right with your partner. You startyou see each other more often. In other words, you
wondering if he or she might be having an affair. Is itmay be the recipient of a mood that is not due to any
jealousy, your imagination or just apathy that is theof your actions at all.
result of long-term complacency with each other? ItIf your mate becomes incommunicative and refuses to
can be hard to tell sometimes, but when in doubt gointeract with you, this can also be a sign of cheating.
with your gut and look for the following behaviors thatHe or she might seem cold or inconsiderate of your
might mean your mate is having an affair.feelings and be less intimate with you in general. This
Oddly, your partner might be having an affair if he orkind of psychological distancing includes such behaviors
she is acting MORE attentive than usual to you. If yousuch as locking the bathroom door when he or she
are suddenly showered with gifts and compliments inhas always left it open. They may also insist that they
what almost seems like an inappropriate manner, thenpick up their own dry cleaning or keep locked drawers.
he or she might be trying to make up for guilty feelings.They may also insist on doing their own laundry. If he
Look for a sudden change in your partner's routine. Isor she seems extra finicky about personal boundaries
he or she staying out a lot longer than usual, notor seems to be trying to set new rules about privacy,
showing up for dinner or unaccountable at times for histhis is also a warning sign.
or her whereabouts? If your partner suddenly alters hisRelationship experts say that if your partner's taste in
or her daily habits that too can be a sign of cheating.clothing, movies or music suddenly changes, than they
If your partner is frequently picking fights with you, thatmay be trying please their new lover.
might also mean big trouble. The emotional logic behindAnother sign of cheating is if your partner seems to
this is that picking a fight gives him or her to an excusebe a bit over the top when cutting up or criticizing a
to fly out of the house and possibly into the arms ofperson that both of you know quite well. This is a
the third party. That way the cheating partner cancommon tactic used to conceal an affair that leads
deny guilty feelings and blame you instead. If you areyou believe that nothing would ever be possible
not to blame, a cheater will create a reason to justifybetween the two of them.
what he or she is doing to you.Perhaps the biggest indication that you might be
Your mate might also become overly critical of you.dealing with a cheater is if they stop acting as if they
This is part of an agenda that once again, gives themare a part of your life. They may lose complete
an excuse to leave or justify the affair. The guiltyinterest in family, friends or following through on mutual
partner might also be overly sensitive to criticism fromfinancial goals or plans for the future. Your mate also
you as there may be a ring of truth that triggers guiltymight be reluctant to go out of town for any reason,
feelings that they would rather not face.as that might cause a crisis in his or her other
If every time you have fight your partner threatensrelationship.
you with ending the relationship, you might also have aIf you do discover that your mate is cheating, you are
cheater on your hands. Your lover feels safe withlikely to go through the five stages of grief - shock
these ultimatums because they have another persondenial, anger, sadness and acceptance. There is no
as "back-up" should the two of you decide to split up.underestimating the enormous impact of these
Another sign of cheating is a consistent negativereactions, even if you had a gut feeling that you knew
attitude towards the relationship and comments thatabout the affair all along.
make you feel as if you have an expiry date inked onYour relationship will also probably go through three
your forehead. This might include saying such things asphases. The first is the reaction to the affair, the
"I would like to travel next year." (with no mention of asecond is the decision as to what to do about it and
"we") or "You know I will always love you, even if thisthe last is a recuperation phase (whether or not you
ever ended."decide to stick it out with your partner in the end.) If
If your lover becomes withdrawn and depressed, ityour partner is willing to be part of the decision and
could be that he or she is brooding about what theyrecuperation phases, it is highly recommended that you
have done and can't handle the guilt. Sudden explosiveseek marriage or relationship counseling to deal with
displays of affection or anger can also be a bad sign,the fall-out from the infidelity.
as the partner might be transferring emotional