| Are you a large person who has been humiliated in | | | | acquaintances are essential for improving quality of |
| public by rude people? Did you wish you had some | | | | life...the large person's life. |
| snappy comeback to fire at your tormentor. If you've | | | | This one tool, self-deprecating humor, has turned |
| been in that situation this article may be for you. | | | | hundreds of potentially harmful situations around. |
| A Short Story | | | | Three Great Comebacks |
| I've always been chunky. (Some people might say fat, | | | | When someone makes a rude comment don't |
| but it's my story, and I can tell it any way I want.) | | | | respond with rudeness. Use a snippet of humor to turn |
| Anyway, when I was twelve years old I was | | | | people around. I'll give you three examples of great |
| swimming with some of my friends at a local lake. | | | | comebacks: |
| Some sixteen year old boys swam past us, and one | | | | When someone says, "You're too fat," you might |
| of the boys shouted, "Hey Fatso, you should be able to | | | | respond with: |
| swim like a whale." | | | | 1. "Too fat! Do you know how many calories I have to |
| I have to admit that suffering from a lack of words | | | | eat every day just to keep this beautiful figure?" |
| was never a problem for me. On the contrary, I usually | | | | 2. "That's odd. I only weigh fifty pounds on the moon." |
| spoke when good sense demanded silence. I shouted | | | | 3. "I'm not too fat. I'm too short. I'm the perfect weight |
| to my tormentor, "I may be fat, but you're ugly, you | | | | for a man eight feet ten inches tall." |
| pimple-faced moron. You'll need sandpaper to cure | | | | Bonus quips |
| those zits." | | | | I've created lists of events I might attend and have |
| My friends laughed. Even some of the sixteen year old | | | | developed appropriate responses. For example, if a |
| boys laughed. My tormentor was not so amused. He | | | | large person attends a graduation and someone |
| didn't like humiliation any more than I did. He caught me | | | | makes rude comments about his size he might |
| and administered a sound thrashing upon me. | | | | respond: |
| Don't Feel Sorry for Me | | | | 4."I'm not too large. I believe in excellence. I'm in the |
| That incident was a turning point for me. After I | | | | upper ten percent of my weight class." |
| recovered from my knuckle-bumps and bruises I made | | | | If a large person stands in line to vote on election day |
| some major realizations. (I call them my knuckle-bump | | | | and someone makes a comment he might say: |
| epiphanies.) | | | | 5."I'm not too large. I'm the guy responsible for HUGE |
| 1. Humiliating others never diffuses a hostile situation. It | | | | VOTER turnout." |
| only escalates the animosity. | | | | Conclusion |
| 2. Rude jerks are people too. Regardless of their | | | | Self-deprecating humor is a gold mine for large people |
| actions to the contrary they have feelings too. I've | | | | who apply it effectively. Make a list of your |
| found that many suffer major stress in their lives. | | | | comebacks. Practice them. (Comedians practice their |
| 3. I like making people laugh. | | | | routines.) Know them well enough to deliver your |
| The Problem | | | | punchline naturally. The ability to laugh at yourself is a |
| How can a large person diffuse potentially hostile | | | | great asset. People like socializing with positive |
| situations by making people laugh? | | | | humorous people. |
| The Solution - Self-Deprecating Humor (the ability to | | | | One last word |
| laugh at yourself) | | | | If a person continues his rudeness he'll look like a jerk, |
| If a large person can make people laugh and target | | | | and people will empathize with you. Don't return the |
| himself as the object of humor he can turn a hostile | | | | rudeness under any circumstances. Simply say, "Thank |
| situation into a friendly situation. Friendly solutions win | | | | you for sharing," and ignore them. You'll show |
| friends and good acquaintances. Friends and good | | | | character people will admire. |